Saturday, June 16, 2012

Reflecting with Erin #1

What a year it has been.  Before I came home for the summer, I realized that this last quarter flew by… but at the same time, this school year feels like it started forever ago.  Last September, when I think about where I was and what I was doing, it feels like ages ago.  I was moving into my first apartment, taking my first digital design studio class, and my first classes for my minor.  I was missing Erin #1 (freshman year roommate), as she was abroad in Paris, and I was trying my very hardest to be the strongest gymnast I could be.

The quarter was fun, and I was working hard: in the gym and in my classes.  Then I remember Thanksgiving break.  I met up with my parents, my sisters, and the majority of my dad’s side of the family for a “Wine Train” Thanksgiving lunch.  I was happy to see them and tell them about all the progress I had been making in the gym.  Then I got hurt less than a week later.  Everything else seemed to happen so fast. 

Just this past week, I hung out with Erin (1) to get breakfast one last time before we left for the summer.  In general, we just reflected on the year.  I told her how much I missed her when she went abroad, and of course how jealous I was of her and that whole experience.  She asked me if I felt good about this past year, and practically without hesitation, I said no.  It felt like a no brainer to me.  How could I feel good about it, when this knee surgery feels like it’s messed everything up?  It’s been so much harder than the first one… and I can’t seem to forget how amazing I felt just a seven months ago.  It’s hard for me to think about it sometimes, because I wonder if I did something wrong, if I went about it the wrong way, or if I should’ve done something different.

But in these last couple days (and after a conversation or two with my sister and other friends), I’ve decided to give you a new answer, Erin (1).  Maybe I’m not “happy” with this year, but I now know that it’s been really good for me.  In my classes, I’ve learned a lot—especially about design and what I may want to do with my life.  Not to mention, I’ve enjoyed the majority of them! Pretty valuable, right?  Then as cheesy and cliché as it sounds, I honestly feel like I’ve learned a lot about myself.   I’m stronger than I ever thought I could be.  I think I have a better idea of the person that I am and the person I want to become—the friends I want to have, the friend I want to be, and the life I want to lead.  That’s definitely valuable.

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