At first, I really don’t remember crying. I kind of landed and just thought to myself, “Crap. There went that.” I remember being in shock, and I couldn’t move my leg. Brace and all, I just didn’t want to move. Eventually, I got up. With the help of Missy and our student trainer, Sarah, I started walking. Then I could do it all on my own. Missy checked out my knee, but it slowly started hurting more. When she asked me to get up and walk, I really had no problem at all. I was doing it on my own, but then the pain started to hit me, and I couldn’t keep going. As I iced, I noticed everything swelling up and hurting more. Then it got to the point where I couldn’t even put any pressure on it.
So that’s where I am now. Crutching, because I can’t walk more than ten steps on my own. Once again, it’s pretty disappointing. I was close, but looking back, maybe I was a little crazy… I asked an awful lot out of the remaining (functioning) parts of my knee. But when people asked me if I really wanted to go through with this brace thing, they asked me if I ended up making it worse, would I regret it? At the time, I said probably not, because the thought of maybe competing was so appealing, that I couldn’t turn it down. Still, this very moment? No regrets. I wish there were more that I could do, but this time, I’ve literally tried as hard as I could. No one would be able to say anything different, and I won’t have to look back and wonder “what if?”
So no looking back; no changing my mind. I’m just going to continue to move forward and focus on the next step for my team and the next step for myself. ACL surgery, here I come. You better be ready for me, because I’m ready for you.