Part 2: No Regrets

At first, I really don’t remember crying.  I kind of landed and just thought to myself, “Crap.  There went that.”  I remember being in shock, and I couldn’t move my leg.  Brace and all, I just didn’t want to move. Eventually, I got up.  With the help of Missy and our student trainer, Sarah, I started walking.  Then I could do it all on my own.  Missy checked out my knee, but it slowly started hurting more.  When she asked me to get up and walk, I really had no problem at all.  I was doing it on my own, but then the pain started to hit me, and I couldn’t keep going.  As I iced, I noticed everything swelling up and hurting more.  Then it got to the point where I couldn’t even put any pressure on it.

So that’s where I am now.  Crutching, because I can’t walk more than ten steps on my own.  Once again, it’s pretty disappointing.   I was close, but looking back, maybe I was a little crazy…  I asked an awful lot out of the remaining (functioning) parts of my knee.  But when people asked me if I really wanted to go through with this brace thing, they asked me if I ended up making it worse, would I regret it?  At the time, I said probably not, because the thought of maybe competing was so appealing, that I couldn’t turn it down.  Still, this very moment?  No regrets.  I wish there were more that I could do, but this time, I’ve literally tried as hard as I could.  No one would be able to say anything different, and I won’t have to look back and wonder “what if?”

So no looking back; no changing my mind.  I’m just going to continue to move forward and focus on the next step for my team and the next step for myself.  ACL surgery, here I come.  You better be ready for me, because I’m ready for you.